


Knock Knock Knock

by LighthouseFeminism



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, it isn't smut y'all, sorry if that's what you are lookin for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 18:31:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13487259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LighthouseFeminism/pseuds/LighthouseFeminism
Summary: Two times the Crownsguard grossly misreads Beau and Jester's living situation.And one time they get it right.





	Knock Knock Knock

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jessieleaf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessieleaf/gifts).



> Okay, so I had this idea as soon as they did the "I'm naked" thing again.
> 
>  
> 
> I can't help it, I'm gay.
> 
>  
> 
> (Happy Birthday Jess)

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

 

Jonas shifted his weight back as he returned to stand before the door, Lucas beside him. It takes a moment, but from inside he heard a cautious greeting.

“He-hello?”

Clearing his throat and using the most official voice he can muster, Jonas called to them through the door.

“Please open. It’s the Crownsguard.”

“Hold on I’m naked!”

Jonas could see Lucas blushing out of the corner of his eye, so he nudged the younger man with his armored elbow. Lucas looked over at Jonas wide-eyed and cleared his throat before refocusing on the large wooden door in front of him.

“Okay, I’m dressed now!”

There was a moment of confusion as the room went silent but the door was still shut. Lucas looked to Jonas, the obvious question in his eyes, but they were soon greeted by a beautiful, smiling, blue woman with horns and a dress. Behind her, at the edge of the bed, sat a young human woman with loose vestments and a messy bun.

“Oh hello, I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Oh yeah…uh... Hi.”

It only took Jonas a moment to figure out what was going on. He was surprised that the… intimacy was not shared in the briefing he’d received, but it was no matter. Jonas made a mental note to add it to the file when he returned to the lawmaster.

 

* * *

 

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

 

Jonas was really hoping that the Crownsguard would get someone else to play messenger to the suspects, but it seemed that the older guard, like himself, and the inexperienced guard, like Lucas, were more useful in the less important tasks. Jonas had to admit he was glad for it. His adventurous, impulsive nature of his youth had long past and he was just collecting the silver from his tenure.

“Hold on, I’m naked!” The same woman from before responded, just as she had the first time. Rather than being followed by silence, it was this time followed by an affirmation by the other woman.

“Yeah, she’s naked, hold on.”

When the blue-skinned woman opened the door this time, Jonas couldn’t help but notice the way they both looked. The blue-haired woman’s hair was a mess on top of her head, and her clothes were wrinkled and messy, looking like they’d been thrown on haphazardly. The second woman back on the bed had her shirt mostly unbuttoned and she was busy putting her hair into a messy bun so that she could see.

“Did you guys come back to play games this time?”

Lucas hid his reaction far better this time, but Jonas had worked with the kid for long enough to know that he blushed at any pretty face he passed, which meant he must have been burning up on the inside. In an effort to rip the bandage off, Jonas stated their purpose and shut the door. He almost had to drag Lucas to the next room. At least the man in the second room just listened to what he had to say, even if he did slam the door in their face.

 

* * *

 

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

 

The room was uncharacteristically quiet when Jonas knocked on the door. After no response, he knocked again. At the second knock, a loud groan could be heard from the inside. Jonas opened his mouth to say something but he didn’t know what to say, so he stumbled out a simple greeting.

“He-hello?”

In response, the sweet sound of the blue woman’s voice echoed from inside the room.

“Hold on, we’re naked!”

Jonas barely has time to process _we’re naked_ before a loud boom slams the door open and allows him to see…

Well, Jonas isn’t sure what he is seeing. He blinks a few times but the image doesn’t disappear, which only makes it more confusing. The blue-skinned woman had answered the door, but just behind her Jonas could see the other woman on the bed with… another blue woman? The blue woman on the bed was busy kissing the monk in the crook of her neck, and the other woman’s eyes were closed, her mouth stuck open in a silent scream.

“Did you need us for something?” The blue woman at the door tilted her head, apparently confused at the shock of the guards. Jonas’ mouth opened and closed a few times, unable to find the words he needs to say. He had thought that the women were forward before but... It takes a moan from the bed for him to snap out of it.

“Thelawmasterwouldliketothankyouforyourserviceandinvitesyoutoseeherforyourreward.” Jonas thrust out the letter of invitation to the woman, who looked down at it, confused. Jonas shook it a little, and the woman finally responded.

"Oh, I can't grab that. Just put it under the door." 

Another moan erupted from the woman on the bed.

"Under th-" Before Jonas could finish his sentence, a second boom slammed the door in his face. Slowly, still trying to process what just happened, Jonas slipped the envelope underneath the door. From inside he could hear a faint  _Woohoo!_ from what sounded like the blue-skinned woman.

Jonas really needed to ask for a raise.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think! 
> 
>  
> 
> Tumblr @lighthousefeminism  
> Twitter @yourlocalbard


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